Monday, January 9, 2012

Prologue

Here's the Prologue for that same story. :) But this is all I'm posting for now. No more yet!!!!!

NOTE: My bad guy's character isn't developed yet. I still have to find a solid personality for him and apply it. So if he's kind of like Jekyll and Hyde - you know, one moment cool and calm, the next wild and angry - it's because I haven't got a solid personality for him yet. This Prologue WILL be refined later, so it will jump around a bit. Feedback is welcome!

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The room was dark and cold, but that was how he liked it.
Dark. Quiet. The man sighed. This was the only place he found peace – for himself. That was only when he wanted peace … for himself. To others, he appeared to be a master of chaos. He smiled. That was true. He did not deny it. Others called him murderer, liar, thief, monster. Those were all true; he did not deny those either.
He turned away from the large window where he had been watching the dark, moonless sky. He sat in his chair in the back of the room, on a raised, marble platform. Below him, there was a large table where he held Council meetings. About twenty paces behind the table was a large, wooden door. Above it was a huge crest – it had a big, blood red, fanged skull on it. Around the eerie skull was all the creatures – all the world – bowing down to it. Under the picture were the words Infinus. Dominus. Nex. Nos mos victum! The man smiled again as he surveyed it.
The double door swung open and emitted a beautiful young girl with long, white-blonde hair. She touched her knee to the floor before the platform. “My lord,” she said silkily, “everything is in good order. According to what I have heard, the prey will set out tomorrow and will be accompanied by a mortal.”
“Hmm,” the man said. “No worries, but we will not kill the mortal this time. We cannot risk getting the authorities involved, like what happened with your little stunt, Juliet.”
The girl, Juliet, frowned and rose from her prostrate position. “They would not have known if it weren't for that nosy playwright.”
The man smirked. “No matter. That was long ago, and Shakespeare is dead while you live on.”
The corners of Juliet's mouth lifted slightly, but she shrugged and changed the topic. “Whom shall we send?” She looked up at him eagerly. “May I go, my lord?”
“Not we, Juliet. Say you.”
Juliet fell onto her knees again. “I mean whom shall you send, my lord. I am sorry.”
The hooded man waved his hand vaguely. “Rise.”
Juliet complied.
The man rested his head on his hands. His body flickered momentarily, then stopped. “You will not be involved in the actual destroying, Juliet, you will just help prepare the victim and deliver the message.”
Juliet's face fell. “But, my lord –”
“Silence!” commanded the man. “How dare you question me?”
Juliet bowed her head. “Again, I apologize.”
“An apology is not enough,” he hissed, “but I will accept it for now.”
Juliet said nothing.
The man stood from his throne and began to walk back and forth on the platform. “I think that Beth will do well for this.”
“What? But, you can't, she's –”
“SILENCE!” The man turned viciously toward her. With a snap of his fingers and muttering of words, it seemed like an invisible hand had clamped on Juliet's throat. Juliet struggled, trying to speak, her face beginning to turn blue.
“How – many – times –” said the man through clenched teeth, “do – I – have – to – tell – you – to – obey – ME!”
Juliet's face was purple now. He flicked his hand, and Juliet flew backwards and slammed into the wall with a moan. The man turned towards her. “Find Beth immediately and tell her she is to go to her old mansion on 13 Willow Street.” The man's eyes narrowed. “Tell her to do whatever she can to kill the girl, even kill the mortals if necessary.”
Juliet sputtered and coughed as she ran to the door, not even bothering to bow. “Oh, wait!” called the man. Juliet reluctantly turned. He smiled. “Tell Beth to come to me for further instruction. I would like to add some … incentive, if you catch my meaning.”
Juliet bowed this time and rasped, “As you wish, my lord,” and ran away quickly.
The man smiled coldly at the retreating girl's back. He knew he should not lose his temper as fast as he had, but sometimes it was fun to, as he put it, play around.
The hooded man returned to his place at the window, staring at the moonless night once again, watching the stars twinkle brightly. “Soon, I will put you out,” he muttered. “The world will be full of darkness; no light will survive.” Closing his eyes, he sighed deeply. This, indeed, was peace.


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Hey, Grace, if you could check my Latin, that would be great. I'm not sure if I got it right.....I used an online translator. It's supposed to say Infinite. Dominant. Death. We will conquer!

So, what do you think? Any ideas? Proofreading suggestions?

3 comments:

Grace said...

I thought your bad guy was really good! He didn't seem mixed up at all. I will check your Latin for you!
~Grace

Grace said...

Okay, it should be "Infinitus. Praepotens. Nex. Superabimus!"

I couldn't get 'dominant' exactly right. 'Praepotens' literally means 'very powerful'. You could also use 'superior' which basically means 'superior'. =)

'Nex' means like a violent death such as a murder. I think that would be the one you want! You could use 'mors' if you mean natural death.

'Superare' is conquer as in like overcoming something. I wasn't sure quite what you meant. 'Vincere' means more like subdue. (If you use 'vincere', make sure you write 'vincebimus' in the actual story)

I hope this helped!
~Grace

Bekah said...

Thanks SO much, Grace! That helps a lot!!!!!!